


Doomed to drown

by flyingisabetterwordforfalling (FlyingFalling)



Category: Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Gen, Hurt Magnus Bane, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Merpeople, Multi, Nephilim, Protectiveness, Siren Magnus Bane, Sirens, Young Alec
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-22 01:17:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8267428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyingFalling/pseuds/flyingisabetterwordforfalling
Summary: Whenever he had imagined how he would die one day, it had never been like this.





	

Whenever he had imagined how he would die one day, it had never been like this.  
  
His hands bound together, buried alive amid the waves of the open sea.  
He opened his eyes, could not see more than his own black hair falling into his eyes, and the water all around him, pressing down on him. In a matter of minutes, it would also force the air out of his lungs. Even though he knew his efforts were futile, he fought against the weariness that threatened to overcome him, tried to keep his body above water, despite knowing his feet would get tired eventually.  
  
The ones who had captured him had used ropes with stripes of leather -covered in runes, the ones no ordinary human, no mundane should know- woven into them, rendering his abilities. His power had become almost as useless as he felt in that very moment.  
  
They must have known how much he despised the ocean, how much he had feared the watery grave which had been awaiting him once in his life already, making it impossible to get over the fateful anguish haunting him for nearly his whole life. Even now he was not astounded that it would finally be the death of him.

He smiled despite being roughly pushed under water; in the end, he had done a good deed, was now being punished for it. Yet he thought it rudimentarily ironic, a human being saved from a deadly illness, by a worthless half breed as he had been called often enough by the ones who thought to be of greater value than all other living creatures only due to them fighting against evil spirits. Only once he had done the same, only then to be accused of practicing witchcraft by no other than the human he had saved from certain death.  
  
Revolting against his very blood he silently pleaded to not be sent to his father, afraid he would already be awaiting him, knowing one of his kind would soon join him in hell to shoulder what he deserved. Eternal damnation.  
  
Expect for that very man, more nightmare than living creature, there was no family of his left; no one would be there to mourn him. No one would know what had happened to him. No one would miss him.  
He had no siblings, at least not ones he would ever consider part of his blood line, his parents were dead and his father may be everything, still would never be his father.  
  
He despised him even more than the ocean, even more than he had hated himself once he had painfully realized he was related to such a creature, a beast once clad in human skin.  
Ever since then he had grasped onto the human side of his own being, hoped with everything he had he would not meet the demon of a birth parent once Death claimed him.  
  
Closing his eyes he felt alone, doomed to drown.  
He had woken up once he had been pushed over board, only remembering that it had been almost morning again, dawn painting a most beautiful picture of the ocean in warm colours all around him and the ship had vanished long ago.  
  
The question why they had done it, why they had captured him in the first place would forever be a mystery to him and he had put it quite literally behind him. Humans were frightened of all the little things they could not explain, thus almost everything. It did not matter anymore to think about their reasoning, they were human and they were afraid of him and others of his kind -and to him that was all he needed to know.  
  
Were he in their position he would probably have done the same, without thinking about the consequences. Had gotten rid of the presumed threat.  
  
He was tired, his bones felt as if he had run for hours on end, his lungs seemed to weaken with every breath he took. Never again would he feel what love could have been or felt like, no compassion, charity or even pity, but actual love.  
  
He remembered stories of others born the way he was, yet had not met all that many of his kind. But there were still so many like him he had yet to meet, maybe even ones who were more than the simple result of a human parent encountering their... other parent. Despite his dreams there would not be enough time, his time had had run out all too soon.  
Thus he closed his eyes again, listened to the waves and accepted their sound as his final lullaby. Knowing his end would be anything but fast or painless.  
  
  
  
Almost unconscious he felt arms being wrapped around him, sparking hope in him, for a mere second, to be saved. Instead of up these arms dragged him down, deeper and deeper into the ocean...  
  
  
Gasping for breath he had once again opened his eyes, immediately aware of something rough and sharp brushing over his face, something that almost felt like scales.  
  
The agony had gotten worse and worse and he had finally screamed out in pain, breathing in water as he did. Only then becoming aware of seeming to float in the depts of his erstwhile grave, finally able to make out his saviour in front of him.  
A being from the depts of hell, as the mortal humans, the mundanes would surely describe the creature that had given him another chance: the upper body half was the one of an unclad human female, the other half fish, with a dark-greenish tale.  
  
An almost conceited glint in her eyes, her expression otherwise blank, and her lips barely concealed teeth which looked as sharp as the scales on her skin had been against his own when she had touched him.  
Only then he recoiled, aware of his very own appearance: his legs had vanished and where they once had been was now a tail, the tail of a fish just like hers, however as dark as his hair, and as gleaming as his eyes.  
  
  
Foolishly as he had realized only about a century later his saviour had not acted out of kindness, but because she had known he was not an ordinary human and thus indented to make him hers, to be her own little souvenir of a different species within their world of mysteries.  
  
She had frowned at him, when he had told her his name all those years ago, Bane, nothing else but the one thing that in his opinion would describe him and what he represented in just one word.  
For a long time she had been wonderful, even lovely in the beginning when he at last had fallen in love with her, but where he thought she had a heart was nothing but vanity.  
  
The necklace around her neck -the one he had had made for her- had a completely different meaning to him from that day on, showing him how deep he had once fallen into her clutches.  
  
Despite that he still loved her, and for that reason it tore everything of what had been left of his fragile heart out of his chest when she decided he was not worth her attention anymore and had thus found a replacement for him to keep her more entertained than a warlock utterly devoted to her.  
  
Mockingly smiling at him, she handed him the pendant when she eventually set him free one day, despite that showing her power over him in cursing him with his own jewelry and having to use his love which had over time turned into disdain to drown the unfortunate souls lost at sea, the lonely ones desperately wanting to find their way back home.  
  
When Camille had just recently left him he mourned for her by shutting everything out, embracing the intrinsically cruel, dead hearted nature of his form to lull ships and therefore whole fleets into a false sense of security, overcome by the gruesome nature of demon blood mixed with that of a siren.  
  
On his darkest days he even enjoyed their cries of terror even though even he still felt disdain towards himself whenever he lured them into his trap, their ships shattered by the cliffs.  
  
On these days he truly became Bane.  
  
However, he never devoured the sailors, stayed away from them as far as possible, and even every other living being who dared to get too close to the cliffs he guarded.  
Over and over again he had seen sirens drown fleets just to watch ordinary humans, according to them merely dispensable mundanes die in vain, praying for their lives, begging to survive. Sometimes he could hear the cruel giggling of beautiful yet deadly maidens ringing through the open sea when they had once again found new lives to take.  
  
Bane would never trust another siren or human again, that he had sworn the day he had been left alone, had not done so ever since his former saviour had left him. Yet, he guarded the cliffs where he once had been drowned. The waves called out to him, cradling him almost lovingly like the mother, who he could not remember any longer without calling out in distress, had done when he had been a child.  
  
Each time he did he caused great harm, his voice enticing and the kind of dangerous humans all too willingly gave their lives for. Sometimes he tried to warn them with his song, using his voice to entice them away from even more dangerous sirens, even so he was still of their kind as well and almost all of them drowned despite his efforts of attempting to save them.  
  
Yet he had never, not even once, considered turning one of these lost souls into creatures like him, bound to kill and tear the ones lost at sea to shreds once they lost their minds entirely.  
  
  
He had been immortal before being Turned, yet he could not see how he could in any way be considered beneficial, not when he followed his instinct to kill, when he had been born differently -nevertheless even before he had become they way he was now, he had killed.  
  
The first person he had killed had been the one who had raised him.  
For a while, at least, that man had been the only adult in his life.  
Someone he had cared about, someone who had after all tried to end his life.  
  
Bane had been in low spirits for so long, therefore had held onto the one person showing him actual love, not like the ones who had taken him in.  
  
For the first time in many years, decades even he had found someone who looked at him with interest not just with pity in their eyes. Camille had over and over again told him how much she loved him, declared how special he was to her. Her eyes shimmering just like the water around them, her hand on his cheek had been as cold as ice, while her finger nails trailed the faint shimmering scales around his eyes. Something she had done so many times, now when he closed his eyes he could almost feel her touch.  
  
Against his better judgement, he mourned for her, for having lost the fleeting moments of seemingly happiness, of being cared for, being loved. Then Camille had found a new, more interesting plaything and Bane had, broken-hearted, began to rebel against his form, against everything that connected him with her.  
  
In the end, he was the one to break their ties when she tried to rekindle what had been foolish tenderness on his side and ostentation on hers.  
  
  
  
It was then, after regaining most his composure that he decided to watch over the place where he had been Turned, feeling as if he was somehow meant to linger; the cliffs where not all too far away from where Camille had stayed with him for so long, before choosing to follow a pod of sirens while he stayed, watching over the ocean.

  
Once, he even saved a barely conscious young man. Disregarding his own vow and overcome by his everlasting wish to care for others he had dragged him through the waves, eventually pulling him to the shore, all while praying to the Angels they would have mercy on the young man's soul -even though, Bane was certain, they would not care for the prayers of a Downworlder either way, yet he was too ashamed to call directly on God, being the child of a demon, a mere half breed he considered it blaspheme even though he had been raised and brought up by churchmen.  
  
Yet, there was something special about this human, the way his eyes flickered when he lay his webbed fingers onto his skin, touching him lightly too afraid to further harm him. He seemed so young, his whole life ahead of him and yet when Bane got a glimpse of his eyes, they seemed unnaturally blue even more so for a mundane.  
  
The young man lay unconscious in the siren's arms when he had finally reached the shore. He was still breathing, slowly but steadily. Still, his skin was even colder than the water he had been in for so long and Bane eventually breathed life into him, his lips on the human's.  
  
He sat there, cradling him in his arms, his tail curled protectively around the man's legs to keep him warm. Bane sang of hope, the melody saddened the creatures around him, the pixies scattered away confused by the unusual chanting, yet it would surely perform its function, thus he raised his voice.  
  
A siren's song attracted humans more effectively than any other kind of being, invited them to follow the vibrant sound of their voice and thus he sang.  
  
Some time later, he could make out a couple apparently having a walk. There were two silhouettes, apparently a woman in a simple dress next to a man, who every few steps seemed in need of resting on a cane. He wore a frock-coat and to Bane's surprise also all kinds of marks on his hands. The faint edges of other tattoos were covered by his garments.  
  
The couple noticed them from a distance as well, and the woman pointed in their direction, started running despite her heavy-looking dress even before her companion could make a move. Her long brown hair was blowing in the wind, the hair band blown off by a sharp breath of air.  
When the man had caught up with the woman Bane finally recognized the marks covering his skin as runes. Nephilim.  
  
  
Feeling as if his past had once again caught up with him, he hid behind a pile of driftwood before the seemingly human female, without any of the runes covering her skin, could get close enough to make him out next to the man.  
He watched her stop right before him, tears running down her cheeks, and her companion feel down on his knees.  
  
Hugging the man close to his chest, seemingly noticing seconds later he was still alive he frantically tore the wet clothes from his body and put his own jacket around him. Even though the dame blushed and turned slightly away, she helped him by putting the cloak she had been wearing around the man's shoulders as well.  
She seemed to have difficulty trying to crouch and held onto her companion's shoulder to not fall over even though he seemed to struggle to keep his balance as well, and Magnus realized she was expecting when she touched her belly as if to soothe the life growing inside her -certainly the only reason why she did not kneel besides her companion in the dank sand.  
  
Her companion lifted the man up and she seemingly surprised both Bane and him, when she kissed the man in his arms on the cheek, brushing her fingers through his dark hair while she did so. Bane blinked, taken aback at the sight of their soft glances, when her companion did the same, his lips lingering a moment longer on the man's skin.  
  
Before the two left with the unconscious human, the Nephilim turned slightly around, gazing over the sea as he smiled towards the pile of driftwood, under which Bane had half-buried himself. The woman seemed to look directly at him, her gaze fixed on the pieces of wood, while she whispered something.  
  
The wind carried her words to his ears, before Bane decided he had stayed there long enough already, only waiting for them to be gone completely before he submerged himself into the depths of the sea once more.  
  
  
Fearing he would cause another ship to wreck as he had done with the one the young man had been on, who he suspected was Nephilim as well, Bane had used the little magic he still knew how to use to make his voice as useless as he could. Then he had taken the essence of it and locked it in the necklace that he from then on wore around his neck without ruefulness next to the one that harboured old memories he was after all anxious to forget.  
  
  
At the beginning of the twenty-first century he had not sung, had not even spoken a word in a very, very long time, the necklaces still around his neck, making sure he never caused another life's end long before its supposed demise.  
  
Nevertheless he sensed a life being in danger, or rather was being startled when a lifeboat speed past the rocks he had been resting on -he had known their purpose for years, had witnessed technological change and progress and still despised the bright lights that the boots used to search the ocean at night. Nonetheless he followed immediately, knowing he would be quicker in finding any person who had fallen over board than the humans could be.

Thus he raced through the water, looking for a human-like figure which as it seemed had been swept away by the floods.  
  
Over the years, even centuries by now it had become pointless trying to hide from the human eye, by now most of them did not believe in beings and creatures like him anymore and had lost the ability to see him altogether. Almost all of them had simply lost the Sight.  
  
Still, he stayed away from the boat as far as possible. Old habits did die hard after all.  
  
When he finally sensed another sentient presence in the water, and had gotten closer and was able to make out the size, Bane was almost appalled when he reached the child drifting in the water. He still treaded water in an attempt to keep his head above it, and panicked when Bane finally emerged right in front of him.  
  
Not expecting to be seen he just smiled, masking his surprise and the child screamed even louder than before, even tried to back away from him at the sight of the siren's razor-sharp teeth, and Bane closed his mouth at once, and tilting his head slightly to the side he slowly reached out. Held his hands upright and mimicked to pull something close and pointed in the direction of the boat's lights and then to the boy, holding the palm of his other hand up for the child to see.  
  
Hesitantly the child put out his hand, taking hold of Bane's, wincing when his warm little hand touched the icy cold one and still his grip was feeble, somehow still lively.  
  
Bane did not waste any more time thinking about why the boy might still be above water without him wearing a life-jacket, at least Bane could not tell for sure if he was not.  
After all, he was still getting used to the ever-changing figments humans came up with, even their garments were entirely different from the ones people used to wear back than when he had actually last seen other beings, humans.  
  
Even though his eyes were in fact somehow even more piercing, and yet still of the same blue the human child reminded Bane of the man he had once saved, he even had the same blackish hue to his hair.  
  
The siren himself had never actually left the cliffs, had stayed where he had met the only other human or rather humans he had been close to in well nigh two hundred years.

After such a long period of time, at least to humans and compared to their all too short lifespan he could no longer tell precisely how many years had gone by and did not care anymore for that matter.

All the same, Bane still wondered what might have become of the young man, and the ones who had appeared to have simply known he had been in great danger, despite that had been still alive.  
  
What in fact had baffled the siren most at the time was the incidental circumstance for them to actually find and retrieve him, to just have known where they would find him of all places. Their affection for one another had been as clear as day, unmistakably.  
  
And yet, even though the three of them seemed to have been close even the love they must have felt for one another could not have been able to create such a strong connection, which appeared to have bound all three of their lives together and let the others know if they were needed more than anything else. He had suspected that at least one of the men had been of the blood of the Nephilim and yet Bane had never heard of more than two of them to be connected with every fibre of their beings.  
  
Bane doubted love could be that strong. Well, in the end he would never know for sure if it was due to these people -humans having gone rotten ages ago, certainly forgotten by history but not by him.

Love was not immortal, that he knew better than anyone else. People died and so did love.  
  
Still, whenever he could prevent it, he at least tried to lengthen the lives of the ones he could rescue, tried to help them cheat death for at least some time.  
  
When he therefore had finally taken the child to the ship the boy had put his arms around Bane's neck, his head trustingly nestled against his shoulder with his eyes being closed. Acting without rethinking his action Bane removed one of his many necklaces from around his neck and put it around the boy's. The siren looked down at the human child, now in possession of a nearly blackish talisman in the shape of a shark tooth, which it actually was not. It was instead made of iron barely as old as himself, to keep the boy safe should he ever come near another siren again -he had worn it to prevent ever meeting Camille again.  
  
Why he did it Bane was not sure, still the boy reminded him of the man he had saved almost centuries ago and it had strangely hurt to not know what had become of him, if he had died from a fatal disease shortly after having been rescued or if he had grown old besides the person or if Bane's guess had been correct, the people he loved most.  
  
Touching his head softly Bane woke the boy and once again pointed to the boat, was already pushing him towards the beam of light before the human child could utter as much as a single word which he clearly had intended to do.  
  
It did not matter what he would have said, still Bane put his finger on his lips, and the boy who was still looking at him with amazement in his eyes nodded, seemingly in an agreement of non-disclosure.  
  
Watching from afar, waiting for the ship's crew to become aware of him Bane stayed for a while, lingered amid the waves, his fishtail swaying nervously back and forth. Eventually the other humans noticed the child not far from them and finally lifted the boy on board, and thus brought him to safety.  
  
Almost immediately after a young woman bend down to hug the soaking wet child. She then held onto him as if she feared to lose him again should she ever let go of him even for a second. Next to her a young man feel to his knees, putting a blanket around the boy, before he also hugged him tightly.  
  
All three of them were seemingly shaking with silent relief, the woman was surrounded by an aura of sternness and yet her weeping showed how much she felt in that very moment. Jet-black strands of hair feel into the man's eyes, as he leaned down to kiss the child's head and Bane kept watching them, fascinated by their emotions, how freely they displayed them to the world.  
 Emotions he had long ago sworn to never feel again, which he had indeed not, by now unsure if he ever would feel all of them again, if he was even able to do so after years and years of resisting to feel anything at all. Still, meeting another living being had awoken some part within him he had tried to banish from his mind.  
  
Had the boy been almost painfully familiar to look at, managing to awake and bring back memories, seeing the young family together certainly hurt. This in equal parts surprised and alarmed him.  
  
Bane had longed for the love he had sensed after witnessing the reunion of the three supposedly paramours in the past and yet he felt something entirely else while looking at the humans who were so close and yet too far away, slowly coming to realise they were indeed worlds apart from each other.  
  
  
Knowing to be different had always been a huge part of his existence, all the same Bane had always longed to be accepted and seeing families reunite was worth even being on his own even after such a long time. Being alone was not too bad if he could once in a while see that it was actually worth it, that despite all the negative aspects and inhumanity he embodied, there was still some good part left in him.  
  
Once more he turned around, to catch a last glance of the reunited family. The maiden, rather young woman as well as the man seemed rather young to be parents, yet their boy even at such a tender age took after them, showing he indeed was their child.  
  
He thought once more about what would or might become of him. The boy had to have the Sight, had not even suspected him to be one of the lifeguards and yet even for a child he had not been as panic-stricken as Bane would have expected him to be. Nevertheless he had given the human child one of his talismans, only to be seen by the wearer himself, with the intention to assure he would indeed be protected from any non-human threat coming near him.  
  
Still, he had also seen the marks on the man's or rather the boy's father's skin, and even the woman bore marks as well, almost identical ones. No ordinary tattoos all kinds of people seemed to wear on their skin these days.  
  
They wore runes and Bane was not at all surprised to once more having been the saver of a young Nephilim, one who would eventually grow up to learn to hate creatures of his kind and would slaughter the peaceful and rogue ones of them alike.  
  
  
For many years he waited for the family to come back to the ocean, thus to the cliffs at least once more. When he was finally sure they would not come, when he had not sensed the presence of his former necklace in years he just knew the boy had grown up to be exactly what Bane himself had fought from his early years on; he was certain the boy had become what he was born and intended to be.  
  
Another hundred years meant nothing to an immortal, to Bane it meant too much, by then even the boy would certainly have crumbled into dust. Even now, he knew deep down one day he would meet another person, looking like all the ones that were haunting him still and at some time or another he would clearly lose his mind.  
  
They looked so much alike, he was sure of them being almost the same person, being reincarnated over and over again to cause him even more sorrow.  
  
He had taught himself not to feel love and still he cared, most ironically about mundane humans and children of the Nephilim -the ones who had always despised him for being born in the first place.  
For being everything he was and could not ever change.  
  
Should he ever meet the boy again, Bane was sure, he would have long since lost his uncorrupted, and sweet aura and with that his childlike acceptance of another being profoundly different from him.  
  
After years and years of learning to fight, to kill and therefore most certainly having learnt to dispose of beings that were so similar to the former warlock, to hate them with both heart and mind there would be nothing left of those curious bright blue eyes. There would be nothing left of the trusting nature of a child that cuddled into the arms of the one who had preserved him from danger and thus his mind and heart would be corrupted by nothing but hatred, the smiling little boy would have vanished for good.  
  
As a Shadowhunter he would most certainly not even touch the unworthy and deformed creatures he would be trained to annihilate. Yet, Bane could not have stayed away, not even if he had known what would eventually become of the boy, not even if he had wanted to.  
  
Bane had memorised the curse Camille had put on him, word by word. She had always had a certain preference for bitter vengeance, especially towards the ones who dared to turn her away.  
  
He would bring demise to others and in the end would meet death, concealed by his dearest wish.

Camille had promised to come back for him should he ever want to reunite with her, her smile had been as dangerous as the siren herself when she had kissed him for the last time and he had felt it, her curse running through his veins.  
  
  
Should Bane rail against his fate to meet her again, the one who had saved him as well as his eternal existence, Camille had pledged to make sure he knew what love felt like, to sent it his ways and then rip it out of his grip, letting it shatter right before his eyes.  
  
Knowing how he would feel after losing the one thing he wanted, she had hissed at him to have known what it felt like to lose what or whom you desired most. With a sly grin she had added, in a mock encouraging tone, this person had not been him. Then she had promised Bane he would come back to her once he realised that as immortals they were bound together, just as everything and everyone else was bound to die.  
  
Over centuries he had therefore tried to act hard-heartedly, ignoring every single one of his emotions, nevertheless still knew whatever may remain of his heart was not made of stone.

Ultimately his benevolence, and thus love would kill him.


End file.
